Stop giving others the permission to make you feel shitty

One of my girlfriends recently came over for a hang out and as she was leaving, her son asked if they could come back again soon. 

“Of course, I have nothing going on right now and Elle definitely has nothing going on right now,” she said. It was an innocent response. Just some words coming out of someone’s mouth with no meaning aside from the meaning I chose to give them, but of course I allowed those words to make me feel like poo. I spent the rest of the day in a funk feeling like loser of the year.

In that comment I convinced myself that the whole world perceives me as someone who ‘doesn’t have much going on.’  (Because I’m so important the whole world even thinks of me at all right? lol.) I started picking apart everything I was working towards and telling myself I have accomplished nothing of value.

Even though I have an eccomerce shop, it’s just an Etsy shop and not even a very great one.  Even though I’m in school, its only an online diploma.  Even though I write for this blog, it’s nothing more than a hobby.  Even though I work outside of the home, it’s only twenty hours a week.  Even though I’m a mom, I’m not even a mom who keeps up with homeschooling.

And in that moment, everything I had accomplished in my entire life amounted to nothing more than a big pile of doo doo. 

Later that day as I was feeling thoroughly sorry for myself, I headed out to walk the dog with my favorite podcast downloaded.  As the rain started to sprinkle, I pulled a hood over my head and hit play. I don’t know how she does it, but Cathy Heller from the ‘Don’t Keep Your Day Job Podcast’ always has what I need when I need it, and I highly recommend her to every creative mompreneur I know. 

Almost immediately I received the message I needed to hear;

No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.

Eleanor Roosevelt

I snapped right out of my funk.  My friend had simply said some words, it was me who gave those words the permission to ruin my day.  Obviously, we can’t change the way others perceive us, so why worry about it.  There are always going to be people who judge us, or who just don’t get it, but at the end of the day, who really cares?! In reality, no one is actually spending much time thinking about us at all.  Everyone is far too worried about their own lives.  The fleeting judgments others do have only matter if we choose to let them.

There is no way for anyone else to understand our personal experience.  No one else is with us walking in our shoes. Nobody is watching us grind daily, waking up early, staying up late, barely having a moment to catch our breath and still only feeling like we’ve reached some imaginary halfway point. So our opinion of ourselves is the only one that matters. People will think what they want, but allowing those thoughts to affect us in any way… that’s on us.  

And so rather than feeling like loser of the year, I chose to round out that day feeling proud of myself… as we all should. Every. Single. Day. We are exactly where we are supposed to be in our personal journey, so let’s stop wasting time worrying about other peoples opinion and start feeling good about how far we have already come.

We have to stop giving others the permission to make us feel shitty, because we have way too much going on and aint nobody got time for that.

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